Scribe Reports
Petaling Hash House Harriers Run Reports

Run 2085 - 25 February 2017

Scribe Report
Run 2085 - 25 February, 2017

Venue: Bukit Kapar
Hare: Daniel "Cheesy Knob" Walchli
Co-Hares: Virginia "Miss MTV" & The Infamous Campbell Clan

The original design was for a good run. Cheesy Knob is known for putting forth the required effort for a good run and he had good experienced Co-Hares. I knew there would be good checks and at least one circular check. Young Scott told me years ago when he was still a resident in Malaysia, "My Dad does not set exceptionally long runs but he does set very tricky checks". I never forgot that.

Cheesy Knob did a good job of providing directions. In addition to the normal written directions he provided GPS Co-ordinates; Google Map and even Waze location. Much more than we normally get. However, being lazy person I am I elected to use the Waze location. It did not work. I could see the runsite location but Waze could not get me there. After blundering around a bit I put the written directions to find the site. Others decided to use the GPS co-ordinates which seemed to work. However, a number of people including Lawrence were late. A few more hash signs would have been welcomed.

We had run before from this runsite but it had been years ago. We have also had runs from a couple of sites along Jalan Bikit Cerakah. A very nice and lovely parking area in old palm. Parking was slightly limited but, as always, we made the best of it.

Our beloved and injured GM called us On promptly at 4:30 pm. She was sporting a bandage on one knee from the big downhill on loose stones when she decided to bang up her knee rather than her face. Another good management decision.

From the parking area we proceeded up a small hill of sparse old palm that provided precious little shade. It was a hot day. Once up the hill we found ourselves on a somewhat paved road with no shade. It was a hot day with a burning sun. After a couple of hundred meters we turned left going in a northern direction. We were now on a terrace in the small palms which provided precious little shade in the hot sun slowly making our way up a bigger hill. After about one km the trail continued up the hill to the first check. It was the mandatory back-check and we broke into the old palm where there was good shade on a hot day. We were not running in a southern direction and traveling on a mostly flat terrain. The paper then went up the back of the original hill and the 2nd check was found. The check was quickly broken and we continued on in a southern direction. Good running in old palm. Very enjoyable with well marked trail. We continued on in a southern direction running parallel to Jalan Bukit Cerakah as confirmed by the numerous electronic tracking devices. It occurred to me that maybe he was going all the way to one of the old running sites. Eventually we came to Check No. 3. Paper was off to the left and we were on true trail again. We progressed through some nursery area and eventually reached a swamp/blog area. After about one km we arrived at Check No. 4. According to the electronic tracking devices we were now on "Jalan Paip Mtb Trail" which appeared to me to be a traditional plantation road. The check was broken to the right or western direction. This was a good indication to me that we had reached the far corner of the run and were about to turn for home. Running in this area was nice. The thoughtful Hare had even arranged for some light moisture (rain) to join us on the run. It had the cooling effect. It was a hot day.

Up to this point the trail was well marked. Checks had been properly filled in and the terrain had been very good. We were at the farthest point from beginning and things were looking good for a new shirt for the Hare. However, this was going to change - quickly.

I was near the back of the pack after Check No. 4. After almost another one kilometer I was expecting to soon arrive at the next check. Out of the darkness of the universe Lawrence comes running at us in the reverse direction. I had not seen him all day. He calls out, "I was late getting here and had to short-cut to catch up. There is a circular check in front of you. I think it is this way. FOLLOW ME!!!!". The people with me started looking at each other and began to wander around. I went straight ahead and came to a tee on the path we had been on. Torn paper was to the left and to the right. I went a bit forward looking left and right for the correct direction. Shortly I heard the On On call from my right and off I went. By this time there were stragglers in several areas - open palm so good visibility. By the time I reached those that called On On - they were meandering around everywhere. More torn paper found. Complete confusion. Eventually we gathered runners together in small groups going in several directions but mostly north. We knew where home was from the abundant electronic tracking devices. The confusion at Check No. 5 caused most of us to completely miss Check No. 6. We passed by Check No. 7 (missed it by a couple of hundred meters) and completely missed Check No. 8. We had the back of the pack and front runners - all confused but some were still laying paper to get us back - which did happen. I was back at 6:00 pm (1.5 hrs) after doing 7.5 km. I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed it.

The main problem was circular check No. 5. From a detailed investigation, I have discovered the circular was an interior circular rather than an external circular. This means you would have to cross the trail you had already ran to find true trail from the circular. There also was a false trail on the circular which screwed things up a bit as well. The true trail from was only 50 meters away from Check No. 5 but was also on the other side of a ditch and a barb wire fence.

Check No. 5 was never broken nor was it connected. The paper is still there. It appears no one finished the complete run as designed. Frank was of the opinion that he had went all the way around but confirms he did not break any checks. Some thought Lawrence may have done the complete run but that was refuted. He did not arrive home until half way through the circle. If you had did the complete run and the complete circular you would have a 10.4 km run. If you did the complete run and did not run the circular you have a 9.2 km run.

There are a couple of things to be learned from this almost good run:

- Hash signs to the runsite are always appreciated. Let's not forget we get visitors.

- External circulars rather than interior circles are recommended as there is less chance the runners will screw up your run. However, it is perfectly legal to set an interior circle. Just be careful.

- False trails on a circular should be considered as dangerous to a good run.

- Front runners should always be sure all checks are filled in and connected. Petaling seems to be plagued with front runners that the hash is a competition and they must be first. That is not the hash way.

- Those that carry electronic tracking devices and use them for short-cutting should not mislead the pack. When short-cutting do NOT call on.

- Each run should have a COMIC to assure all checks are connected.


On On,

Nori's Servant/Slave

Run 2079 - 14 January 2017

Venue: Bandar Sunway (Seminyih)
Scribe: Candy Harjeet

Hare: John (Hash Flash) Castleman
Co-Hare: Jo Yoong, Richard, Nazli

It's a new area for Petaling as we have not run at this site before but other hash chapters have done so. There was traffic heading to the run site but managed to get there on time. There was a large crowd for the run. The JM Paul K made the usual announcements for newcomers to follow and advised FROPs not to spoil the run and not to repeat what took place during my run the previous week where the FROP'S ran past the paper without even looking where the checks were and missed a big hill and that brought the hashers home earlier than expected. Wankers! and STOP complaining it was a short run because you made it that way if you did not finish the trail. The ONLY hasher that completed the run and went on the big hill was Wolfgang and he did not complain.

Continuing on John's run. The run started at 4.30pm and there was a short run approximately 5+km or so and the normal run approx 9+km. The weather was hot but then it was cloudy and it was good as there was some open field and it could have been really hot if there was no shade especially walking by the quarry and construction area. The run started and headed into a climb up the terraces and cliffs to the Palm area. It was a pleasant trail reminding me of my run. Thanks John.

After 3km the sign for the short and long run was posted so the hashers could decide which run they wanted to do. I took the short run as I was recovering from a flu that was passed down from a hasher and did not want to take the risk in coming out on a stretcher.

The checks were good and kept the pack together at the beginning. At this point the pack split into two directions. The main pack disappeared into the jungle. Since the hare had informed us on what to expect on the long run as there was a big hill most of them opted for the short run but not the FROP's.

For the short run there were some little hills to climb but nothing difficult and a nice scenic run/walk.

On the long run the hashers had to climb up a steep embankment and I was told that many suffered to climb that hill. The run took us through animal's trails and road access and through a scenic run. Back checks that were easily broken as they continued straight from the foregoing, incoming trail, each time trapping the FROPs who were made to back-pedal. However, the back-checks and undulating trails proved every effective in keeping the pack together.

The short runners came in on an hour. Dark clouds were forming and just as the front runners were coming back at 6 pm, it stared to pour and it was like the heavens just opened up. Strong wind and rain was just too difficult to have the circle and we adjourned to the restaurant for the On-On.

At the On-On we had 9 full tables of hungry hashers. The JM said there were 27 charges by the bomoh who was Rob Mullies but all of them left before the on-on and so weren't done. There was something about Mike A getting struck by lightning and he came out late and the hare had to wait at the run site.

He made it out and all were at the on-on waiting for the food to be served

Good food and the run were judged a T-shirt run.

Thank you John for a nice evening: run, food and on-on. And also the nice pictures that you have managed to capture for your run . All in all, a very enjoyable evening with thanks to the hares.

On-On
Candy

Run 2077 - 31 December 2016

Venue: Mont Kiara
Scribe: Keith (KGB) Burnley

Hare: Liz Mulliss
Co-Hare: Robert Mulliss

This is the scribe report for the new year's eve run that was probably on December the 31st. It shall be short and sweet, just like the run or, at least, the run that I did. We arrived at the car park which was a road that we parked on because nobody could afford the RM 300 for the actual car park. The run started and then stopped again at a bottleneck where Jimmy Legget was mumbling something about taking the other trail which was the obvious home trail. Down the hill and a sharp right for most of the pack except for those of us who just carried straight on to find the paper and a check about 500 metres farther on. I checked forwards to the end of the track so I just kept going up the hill until I found a trail with lots of bits of paper on it. By this time it was nice and quiet without hose noisy hashers shouting all around the forest. They just don't seem to repect the peace and tranquility of the forest except for Frank who respects it so much that he never makes a sound.


By 6:30 I was at the split for the short cut. I was not wearing an orange robe, I did not have a girl to hold my hand, I do not think that I am pregnant despite all the rumours, and I was not bent over using a walking stick. Therefore I must have been Lain-Lain, whatever they are, and went that way thereby arriving at the car park on the hour mark.
It seemed that the hares had not paid the Bomo because for the entire circle it rained heavily during which there were charges made which may have been real or imagined and beers drunk.


The on-on was at Robert and Liz's place with good food and plenty to drink. The M.C. Paul Kirkman then presented a few more, probably fabricated, charges which have a mandatory guilty verdict culminating in bubbly at 12 a.m. Some hardy souls visited the Backyard for an lsatone and then went home, or didn't in my case.
Thanks to Robert and Liz for a well set run and an excellent New Year's Eve afterwards.

Run 2054 - 23 July 2016

Venue: Rasa (Zurah) Industrial Estate
Scribe: French Connection

Hare: Eric Choong
Co-Hares: Rambo & Yip


Around 100 hashers only turned up to the Industrial Estate as many others preferred to participate the Mount Kiara Hash MKH4 (15th Rotation Run) at Hulu Langat and party with 1,000 bastards!
We knew that the run 2054 would be steep as the hare and co-hares had - more likely - arranged some good recognitions.
We also knew that the weather could be tough ... Indeed it was! At 16:20 pm, it started raining dogs and cats ... So many that our Joint Master Neil, gave us the "go" to run ... almost 5 minutes before the sacrosanct timing of 16:30 pm sharp! ... hoping that by granting us several seconds more, we would all complete the 10-km run before the darkness!
From the beginning it was slippery, muddy, rainy, slippery, muddy, rainy, slippery, muddy, rainy, etc ... A first short steep hill: still manageable! Then around 2 kms of various grounds. Going down was also challenging: Sim can confirm as she fell down and would be still blocked (head upside down) in branches if a gentleman hadn't helped her to put her feet back on the (muddy) soil. Suddenly a VERY steep and high hill (approx. 300 m climb): much less manageable upon such a weather! However, soon forgiven and forgotten, as we arrived to the top: a spectacular view on the surrounding forests and valleys ... and icing on the cake: no more rain! Perfect opportunity to take some pictures of the landscape.
For the whole run, we did appreciate the white papers stapled on leaves and branches ... obviously the hares really didn't want to search lost souls in the dark forest!
The sweepers arrive to the run site at around 19:00 pm. Hot noodles, snacks, cookies, peanuts enabled us to regain all calories we lost during this good "for hash challenge training" run.
The circle went as per usual including mosquitoes but with few charges: Hashers were hurry to deal with the 25-km drive before reaching the "on on".
Restaurant 2018 (Serendah) has kept its reputation of good food provider ... this time it was fully washed down with wines and whiskies ... We are still wondering how some hashers managed to get back home!

RUN 2053 - 16 July 2016

Venue: Broga, Seminyeh
Scribe: Nick Morss

Hare: Elisabeth
Co-Hares: Guillaume, Bruno, JP, Pascale, Jeff, Seok Nee, Silva

Le Quatorze Juillet - French National Day run

Waze has a variety of options that can be set, it can be configured to choose either the shortest route, or the quickest....but it doesn't seem to accept co-ordinates as a destination, at least, not in my hands. So, despite the very clear directions given by the hares, I unwisely entered the co-ordinates in to Google Maps.....after 4 tolls and about 20 mins we arrived at a location on the LDP that could have been reached in 10 mins and with 1 toll, so I can only assume that I must have accidentally set "please take me by the most expensive route"!

Heavy traffic and a downpour of rain ensured a late arrival at the run site, but I was by no means the last, and not the only to have a problem using co-ordinates, as Louise articulated in disgust at being made late. At the start we were told of 3 runs, a long, a medium and a short. I mentally made a note that as I was late and it was nearly 5 o'clock, I would take the medium. Years ago in a bar in KL Paul 'Hash shag' Smith and I agreed that to do the short run we would have to be either old or injured!

The trail started off along a nice easy path, but soon we were to discover the "hill" in "Broga Hill" it was challenging, but we've had far worse, although I did wonder at one stage if they were training us to storm the Bastille next year!

On approaching the split there was only the option of long or short, so after being told by Dan Percival that if I took the short I wouldn't have much to write about I chose the long. After 5 min I regretted my decision as we came face to face with a 132kV power line, I wondered how far a 132,000 volt spark could jump, but then realised it was probably only a few inches, so carried on up the hill to the distant rumble of thunder. I came across Dan Percival again standing under the pylon, I assumed he thought it would act as a Faraday cage in the event of a storm, and left him there. The run then became very picturesque, and passing some lovely babbling brooks I thought of Chu and Helen! The hares took us by the side of the rivulets kindly allowing us to keep our feet dry, with a little climbing up alongside some small, picturesque waterfalls, whereupon I chanced upon Hash Flash, and quickly gained composure for an exposure.

From the streams onward the run was very nice, the hard part behind us. Gentler slopes through jungle and orchards of Durian, Rambutan and Mangosteen gave me a chance to enjoy the scenery ... and the silence that was penetrated only by various bird calls (the rest of the pack was mainly far ahead, with a few far behind by now). As I met various hashers en route, they all questioned if we were inadvertantly on the long (14k) run or the medium as it wasn't clear, when suddenly we came upon another long / home split. This time, well away from bad advice. I took the route 'home', which was a very pleasant, gentle downhill run.

Back home again, nice tee shirts were given out (thank you) - with the "Hares On On Strike" motto on the back, proving the French do have a sense of humour. A circle was quickly called as GM Aileen correctly predicted rain coming in.

The circle was very jovial with some abuse of the French by Beano followed by a medley of relevant French hash songs being lead by Russell Crusty Jones.

Before rain set in too heavily, most of the pack headed off to the On On where a possible record crowd attended taking 10 tables. We had over 20 guests mainly comprised of Dutch students on holiday, who were later to be abused by Don Cheang. I think they thoroughly enjoyed the hash experience.

All in all, a very good hash day out. Merci bien!

On On - Weathercock

RUN 2052 - 09 July 2016

Venue: Genting Valley, Ulu Renning
Scribe: Dave Settergren for Ben Kulen

Hare: Nick Morss
Co-Hare: Tracy Binchan

Petaling seems to have a great affinity for this run site and its general surrounds - approximately a quarter of runs are set in the vicinity, at least for the last 15 years or so. However, to some, the familiarity seems to be wearing off, and this general area is fast gaining a reputation as a 'prostitute' area - we seemed to be going in and out - and coming - way too often lah! Still, the combination of great hashing parameters rendered this a tantalizing prospect, and a much sought-after one.

Braving the pong from the make-shift dumps on route to the run site, and some deeply-rutted pot holes that challenges us to hop-scotch our vehicles around them, we got to the usual parking area, an abandoned development that harks back to 2 building booms ago. Remnants of some rubber-walls with their signature random-sized limestone blocks are scattered about, eerily resembling what could have been remains of a long-lost civilization. Note to self: this will make a nice story for the tabloids next April's Fool.

The hare took us in through a tried and tested route - almost straight up a disused and eroded macadam winding through some orchards, likely built using public funds at a time leading to a general election some 3 or 4 polls ago. The first 3 trails - almost all on said tarmac - were almost identical - back checks that were easily broken as they continued straight from the foregoing, incoming trail, each time trapping the FROPs who were made to back-pedal. However, the back-checks and undulating trails proved every effective in keeping the pack together.

The 4th check was a difficult one, feigning with a falsie to the forward left, before being connected in the valley on the bottom right, by which time the runners were again tightly bunched. We were then led along more undulating trails, ensuing with a stretch of easy running. Eventually, we emerged onto the Ulu Tamu Orang Asli kampong, and thence a downward sprint along the road, then veering off and crossing over to the metal bridge, where signs pointed to the 'Short' and 'Normal' choices, a welcome relief for the less distance-challenged ones. We have thus far covered 5 1/2 km, roughly half the distance for the 'Normal' trail, although in the afternoon heat it seems much farther. The 'Normal' trail then went up a slope, very quickly dropped back down, and then generally stayed on a terraced track for some 2km till it reached the same stream we have earlier crossed on the metal bridge. A good number of the pack who chose the longer, 'Normal' route plunged headlong into the crystal clear stream, moaning and exulting in pleasure as our tired and overheated bodies were soothed by the cool caress of the fast flowing water.

Somewhat rejuvenated by the respite, we plodded on towards home, but were taken on a longer and punishingly deflating loop by the hares, re-crossed the Ulu Tamu road and headed into the bush to the back of the hot springs, zig-zagged along the edges of the orchards, before finally getting back to the run site, FROPs arriving in just over 1hr 30min.

Run 2042 - 30 Apr 2016

Venue: Kemensah (behind Zoo Negara)
Scribe: Paul Kirkman

Hares: Lim Chun Leong
Co-Hares: Looi Soon Cheng/ Cheah Cheang Siong

The hares had their work cut out taking on the terrain of Zoo Negara's backyard. The hares wisely chose to set an additional shorter version of their run as they knew the body count would be high as we trudged our way up to the summit.
The run was well known and a frequently travelled trail. The steep ascent was always going to be a challenge, but after earlier rainfall became a right royal pain in the arse. After an initial check the front runners, being the devious adventure capitalists they are, took advantage of an unhindered ascent and managed to forge ahead, never to be seen again.
For the rest of us it became a much tougher ordeal with mudslides and a plethora of walking sticks preventing any reasonable attempts to pass. After we reached basecamp one there was a brief respite with a welcome decent before you came upon the split. At this point runners had to make the most difficult choice of the day. For those that opted for the normal run a bit of a treat was in the offering. A pleasant undulating run without the searing heat of a punishing sun interspersed with breath taking panoramas of rolling hills majestically rising out of the rain forest mists. (God I'm beginning to sound like Paul Smith). For the main part it was a lonely run with little opportunity to catch the pack. For many it was over two hours but the peaceful and scenic surroundings made it all worth the while. The front runner made it back one minute before the cut off time. Claims by Frank W that he was a front runner back before this time were summarily dismissed as the usual bullshit we've all heard before.
Most runners had earned a deserved beer. As the heart rate slowly stabilised smiles came back to faces as we witnessed enumerate failed launches of Don's weekly love lantern.
The circle commenced with a brief announcement by joint master Beano for all hashers to fess up to their true shirt sizes and not simply rely on Emilia and Nan to correct them on their behalf, particularly as they are still confused as to what six inches really is.
Angie took a D.D. for Mynn T who last week scared the crap out of runners by hoisting aloft a python coloured scarf and then wrapping it around her neck. It has to be noted that rather than running to her aid to thwart what was perceived to be her impending strangulation, everyone opted to keep a wide berth.
Chickenhead was the secret Bomoh who took the opportunity pick out the misdemeanours of runners as well as presumably some of his own. We were all informed of a recent diagnosis of Super Gonorrhoea, for which Gona Maria was duly charged. Saru we strongly suggest you will have him de flea'd and fumigated before he returns next week.
Afterwards Lawrence R took the opportunity to highlight the growing tendency of piss poor calling. With the able assistance of John L and Nan K, Frank W was shown how cheating front runners are able to call and communicate by way of sign language. Not surprisingly said demonstration quickly degenerated from communicate to fornicate ..... or for the want of better words f***king front runners.
We had a varied selection of guests. There was a significant contingent from Canada who sought to give a rendition of their national anthem but were rightfully shouted down and told to piss off. A courageous Kenyan lady who didn't know whether she was coming, going or staying out there for good, but did concede in the end it was an enjoyable experience and would be back again for more. Weird! The run was a sobering experience for two Geisha gals. Apparently the calls of Fuk Mee was not aimed at the terrain but was actually the name of her friend. Likewise they professed to have had a good time ... living proof that the kamikaze mentality still exists.
Five bachelors from Guangzhou hash who left a perfectly debaucherous country to come to a Muslim nation for a dirty weekend. Fortunately Gona Maria came to the rescue to sort out that cock up. The Groom to be took the opportunity to make his Bride to be jealous by having his mug shot taken with some of our best Petaling Totty. The visiting GM then gave us an insight into hashing in Guangzhou. Shirts were exchanged with our ex GM and the guys thanked us for the torture that they had just been put through.
Our hash once again suffered from dwindling beers. Canadian Barb took the opportunity to snaffle one of the last drinks and tried to steal a snog from the JM in the process.
The co-hares were a cast of thousands with some ex hash colleagues thrown in for good measure. It was very nice to see them back, and to see Gina's front. The weather and visitors had clearly conspired in the hare's favour. The run was judged a T-shirt with the help of a very vocal feel good factor from hashers. It also gave us the perfect excuse to encourage Gina to get her kit off.
All in all, a tortuous yet pleasant day out in what can best be described as a shitty ball breaker location.
On On to next week. BEANO